showing up

When things get stuck some hours of the day, some days of the week or even some months of the year, I find solace in thinking of the bigger picture.

The piece gets done, it has gotten done with in the past. What do I remember from days and weeks when nothing seemed to happen with my previous piece. The piece got finished, and I have moved on.

On days like these, even just showing up at the desk is a sign of respect for the process, even though I have nothing to show for it.

The time spent 'at the piece' can go a long way 'into the piece' eventually.

I sat for some hours without really doing anything, until I figured I might as well further a few hanging projects which are soon due in their own rights. Namely going through applications for a working grant board I'm on, and listening to the pieces recommended for the International Rostrum of Composers this year, in preparation for a radio programme at Finnish YLE radio the week after next.

Listening to the works, varying from solo contrabass with electronics to full orchestra with two sets of soloist groups, and with no thematic connection between them what so ever, I found myself gravitating to a few instinctive parts of my musical taste. This was further accentuated by me being somewhat tired today.

I stuck with pieces that I felt were really going for something defined - not necessarily 'clearly' defined, some of them were beautifully nebulous and untangible, but still - they were going for something. And they stuck with this something for long enough for it not to feel like a random discovery - it is the discovery in the piece, or one of them. It's a crucial discovery, and the composer visibly knows this while composing and communicates this knowledge in the stuff of the music. We are hearing the composer discovering something, and them staying with this discovery.

This I found articulated in several pieces that were lauded at this years Rostrum.

Now how will I articulate my discoveries in southwest? This is something to ruminate over the next two days - come monday, I want to start on the final draft.